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Boys get the majority of D's and F's in most schools
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Boys make up 80% of our discipline problems
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Of children diagnosed with learning disabilities, 70 percent are boys.
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Of high school dropouts, 80 percent are young males.
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Young men make up less than 44 percent of our college population. [page 22]
The authors blame much of this on the way we educate our children, problems caused by the ways we teach, not any bias against boys. They also blame the environment in which children live and learn. What follows are just some ways you can help overcome these problems and give your son the best chance at doing well in school and life.
Bonding and Attachment
As boys grow from infants to their first school experiences, they need "a secure base of bonding and attachment in the home. This is important for many reasons, but until recently it has not be recognized that it is essential for healthy growth of the brain that promotes the ability to learn. "Bonding is the powerful emotional connection between parent and child that begins from the first moment they see each other, touch each other, become close and intimate. Attachment is the actual ongoing process of affectionate caregiving that nurtures the instinctual bond throughout a lifetime" [p.70]. In other words, loving the child and making sure the child knows he is loved through physical affection. Inadequate bonding and attachment hinders development of portions of the brain that can cause children trouble in regulating their emotions, developing cause-and-effect thinking processes, and enjoying a good sense of self during later school years. Well-attached children enjoy a number of advantages, including the ability to learn more successfully.
The authors suggest ten strategies to promote attachment [pp. 76-78]. These are good for both boys and girls, but boys are especially vulnerable to deficiencies in attachment. Some of the strategies include
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Bursts of attention, giving undivided attention to the child for many minutes at least five times a day.
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Lots of affirmation.
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Verbal Mirroring: describing in words what your child has just done or repeating what he says, in an affirmative way.
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Physical Play
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Leadership: letting the boy take the lead as much as you lead him. Imitate him and let him imitate you.
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Enthusiasm
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Predictability
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Choice making
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Appropriate Discipline: avoid punishments that involve frightening the child, yelling, name calling, and spanking, especially during the first eighteen months of life.
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Create a Boy Friendly Environment
Boys need more space than girls. When they play, they spread out more, are more active, and thus need more room for their brains to develop fully. They also benefit from sufficiently bright lighting. This is because boys rely more on their vision in learning tasks than girls. There should visual stimulation. There should be music, because music promotes learning in all children. Music engages the whole brain, whether children are listening or creating it. Finally, boys should not be indoors all the time. Outdoor experiences are more complex and stimulating, which is especially helpful for a boy's learning growth. [pp. 91-105]
What to Avoid
There are things that need to be avoided to allow boys' brains to grow and learn [chapter 5].
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Head injuries: This may seem obvious, but it is mentioned because brains are fragile and can be injured by activities that don't seem dangerous. The authors make a point to warn about the risk of damage from soccer headers, those plays in which the player redirects a high kick by having the ball hit his head.
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Minimize Monitor Exposure: Boys should not spend more than one hour a day in front of a monitor, whether TV, video games, or computers (including educational use). The brain needs to combine all the senses while learning, the screen reduces all to two-dimensions of sight only. Replace monitor time with outdoor activity, reading, music making, and social interactions. Children younger than 18 months should watch no TV.
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Food and Drink: Boys need to drink adequate water for best brain function. But they should not drink sweet drinks, even fruit juices as much as water. Caffeinated sodas are not good at all.
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Reduce the Carbs: This is generally viewed as good weight control advice, but it also applies to children who need more protein right before learning tasks to be mentally sharp. Carbohydrates, by contrast, can cause lethargy and reduce alertness.
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Reduce Sugar: While sugar provides a surge of energy, this soon passes, making it hard for the learning centers to work while stimulating adrenalin, making it harder to sit still while learning.
Changing the Classroom
While parents can't directly control the classrooms of their children, they can lobby for certain changes that have been shown to be beneficial, especially for boys.
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Recognition of Differences: Schools need to recognize the differences in the brains of boys and girls. Girls, for example, are a grade and a half more advanced in language skills than boys of the same age. Using the same grading scale and assignments for boys and girls gives the boys an unfair disadvantage.
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Let There be Movement: Boys are generally more active than girls and often find it impossible to sit still and listen to a teacher talk. Studies have shown that just allowing boys to squeeze a Nerf ball during class reduces fidgeting and disruptive behavior and helps them stay focused on the lesson. So does letting the boys stand and move at regular intervals.
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Same Sex Classrooms: Boys can benefit from a class that is just boys, provided the teachers adjust the content and procedures of class to make use of the boys' strengths and minimize their weaknesses.
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Give Children a Team of Supporters
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Children require individual attention from a caring and knowledgeable adult in order to succeed at any learning task. No parent can do it all, so enlist the help of relatives, friends, and professionals, like tutors, to make sure each child has the right kind of attention. This not only gives the child resources for learning, an example to follow, but also the self-esteem building quality of loving attention. A professional tutor can be part of this educational team. A tutor can help motivate a child who claims to be bored with school or uninterested in academics. Regarding homework and tutors, the authors have this to say: "Over the last decade, research into educational resiliency has confirmed that the single most impressive cure for lack of motivation to learn among students is consistent, specific, and helpful one-on-one contact with an educational mentor. The 'master' today may be the tutor, the tutorial school, the special learning coach, the mentor, and the family members who become tutors."